Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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