I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
