they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
