Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
