I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't think brook has ever known best
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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