Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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