how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
