I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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