your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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