Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
