I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
