This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize