Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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