her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just had sex on a roof
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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