I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
