If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize