my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So squirting runs in the family.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
