Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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