you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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