She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
