u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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