this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
