we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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