is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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