I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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