WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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