Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering

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(404): View more from Georgia

Mmmm, vodka for breakfast

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(662): View more from Mississippi

In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"

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(330): View more from Ohio

she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.

(703): View more from Virginia

I want to have sex with him.

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(757): View more from Virginia

According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?

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