You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
