How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
