this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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