I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
