Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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