i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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