she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
