You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Who did Billy Mays play for?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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