Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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