I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
