I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
