i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
