pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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