so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
