Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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