I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
