question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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