My brain says no but my pants say off.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize