i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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