guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
