I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize