it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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