So drunk, too bad you don't want this
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
