I showed him my bush... on skype.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
