Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
