you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
