Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
