Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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