Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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