You work out of a Hotel?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
