your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
