I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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