i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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