We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
