Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
