ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
