A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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