Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
