my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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