like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You were trust falling into bushes
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
