I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
