it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
