Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
