Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize