He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
