i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
